SEVEN EVENTS OR POSTS LEFT INK

ASSOCIATED PARTICIPANTS CATAPULTED, AS IF EGG
This post was censured once again.On this blog, there will be approximately seven posts left to go, as far as printing goes, most already written, abit more clarification, perhaps expressed better elsewhere, or not. I've learned quite alot, in the way of an education on abuse and have remembered things from my initial RV and self hypnosis sessions that are still on going.

I have no faith that the abuse of children will subside in the near future. I have complete ' faith ' that those who promote the behaviour as example and structure for living will succeed in all their endeavours; it's build in to the social fabric of society; all societies, by design and intent! The clarity of the situation is thus, I have absolutely no faith, or reason for faith, in our military, federal departments handling child abuse cases and even less for the police. Believe me when I tell you, that some soldiers should of never of left the battlefields...alive.

The last post I will include all the names that I have ' danced ' around for a number of years, and when the last of what I want to say is done for this blog, anyway, will be left up for a few months then deleted. My personal plans are to move out of this country, as I've found it is not the country I was raised to believe in. More than likely, I will change most of my name, but keep ' ownership ' of it...for personal reasons. This is in direct relationship to an issue my father had, nothing else.

The rest of the posts will soon follow as I ' answer ' my apparent calling in Austin, ' clear my memory of the city,' and move on with my life. By the way, the original height of The Capital was alittle over three hundred and three feet, not three hundred two. Your foundations are all messed up ( I wrote a poem 'bout it, maybe I'll post it ). As an afterthought, if you are truly in need, think twice about turning to The Salvation ' Army,' for The United States of America is gasping her last breath, and no one is paying attention; you deserve whatever aftermath there is.

SONGED MYTHS

to dance with the clouds while shouting aloud.

songed myths of broken repair;

caressed gentle, in kisses, should she dare.

a father brushed awayed in tear,

after the rage.

a father torn under street lights, crouched, broken of repair.

realizations distant, in moment, of many drops caught

and seen in rain; she wept.

myths of song found and given wings in breath, the child's heart beats.

the small face face that never felt wet milk,

kisses and mother's breath...

songed myths of broken repair

caressed gentle kisses, should she dare...

to feel and remember, again...

of abortion...and forgiveness and dream again.

FOUNDATIONS IN CAPITAL

God given in expansion, the stars in dust search

as she, the maiden, lay in wait.

A new life, yet to begin...Liberty.

Sparkling trail of dusted light

that never fell, together as one.

303 in heights of foundations,

lay there in wait, her truth;

one in measured truth and forgotten.

HEARTBROKEN AND PUT TO REST

' FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC '

I visited Google in Austin yesterday ( 12-9-09 ), and I was met with an almost transparent sense of ' adversary of nature ' from the female employees and a male of apparent Hispanic lineage, but insight spoke of middle eastern heritage ( bone structure ). Doing their job from the Corporation's perspective, I'm sure, yet I felt a ' gut feeling,' though intestines are closely related and configured like that of brain tissue, that some other hidden agenda closer to the animal might be detected as toxic, just under the surface. The women in a moment of egotistic bliss, one of the two, a brunet gave me a post-it note with Google's help .com address as answer to my problem with my other blog, ' The Indefinite One ' loss to thieves ( my E-Mail address was deleted and changed by someone who knew what they were doing, thus denying me access ).

I have no respect for these people, and those who pray on children, why of abuse, assault, example of illegal ( legal ? ) drug use and those in uniform who permit and endorse such behaviour, even out of uniform, or retired. I would report or turn in my own ' brother ' if I witnessed such behaviour, as example to and for children. I have no tolerance for crooked cops, pedophiles and drug dealers ( crooked electronics too: geeks ) too. THEY ARE ALL THE SAME PEOPLE.

Upon leaving the building, a blond woman in the foyer, punctuating my departure with comment, as if in response, " that psychotic camera eye," as if a reason for no satisfaction to my dilemma. Years of welding make your eye's so, I guess.

A man did offer help, he said his name was ' Nathan Smith,' and did go into some explanation as to the problems encountered with blogs and allowed me to photograph the entry way of Google, as proof to the extent that I made to resolve my situation. To be fair, he did offer apologies that he was not of further help.

Mechanisms, once thought as predators on all fours, we fought against for survival through the ages, also walk on two, offered no help beyond the labyrinth of confusion found on the very .com I sought help from in the first place.

PATHWAYS

Today ( 12-11-09 ), I had my teeth worked on by a ' doctor ' of whom I ' once knew ' in an unbeaten pathway of time that my brain created of the mind and telepathic overlay. " We are above you, calm down." About five years ago, soon to be six.

I now have front teeth again, where only stumps once layed in wasteful reminder of ' the drunkard ' that once occupied my time, my body and seemingly erased blocks and points of time for the pleasure of others in retrospect.

' A work ' of exemplary value, not yet fully appreciated in full comprehension as to my ' real identity ' of body and spirit and of repairs to ' the flesh ; often missed in the determination of a life given. To have lived in the almost complete search for the substance of my addiction and the denial of damage being done to the body as result, I can't begin to try to explain. The doctor, a dentist, asked me how long I smoked ' crack?' I had to explain that I hate illegal drugs, that I don't and told her that I drank alcohol for 26 plus years; this being the result, my teeth and thier current condition.

I feel that we all, to a certain degree, have forgotten who we really are in the mind's eye, of the pleasures of worlds unseen and yet to be learned in a full understanding of experienced delusion, for the sake of comprehension, to be passed down in valued concerns for our youth, as examples in ' near experience ' as to what it means to be grateful; to be alive and of ' world's of intellects ' of interest and concerns in near compassion. Yes I'm still somewhat numb, though now about four years sober, as to the examples of ' reality ' without benefit of rose colored glasses. This is but one ideal of learning to observing to learn, in order to understand the ' higher planes ' of not merely existence, but to live within a ' concern ' for ourselves, thus others. Or perhaps better worded, to live in service for others in order to ' better ' yourself. Old ideas, but perhaps, new lives.

PATHWAYS AND THE FATES-This segment has also been censured by pedophiles at this moment, or their followers. When found out they will be identified in the individual and or group.

The art of destiny as face value, I suppose, can be appreciated on the surface of our population as a form of narcissism, with it's roots found in defenses of Territorial boundaries of and from the animal. The clothes we wear, the smiles we do or don't offer. Yet the positive feedback of ' inner-judges,' not to exclude the ' self ' of others within a person's immediate environment, can only increase the ' worth of acceptance,' not only of the body alone, but the ' mind ' as part of something greater than itself, when excepted above ' the perception of a visual threat.' That's not say that there aren't wolves out there, but perhaps they might be better able to tame, other than the snakes.

The doctor I spoke of earlier, I've heard of, without description of appearance other than red hair and female, of a professional excellence not common for the poor and downtrodden. To ' the battle lines ' in a van her group went, as described by an acquaintance, she and staff made way to fight for better health and smiles, now almost exempt of ' drugged up excursions of those still looking for anything ' free ' or for the taking, in semiconscious states of mind and bad health. Because of location and the need of transportation the ' druggies ' seem unable to delegate the time needed. " Nothing is free," an old black man seemed to tell me in a glance expounding pity, yet concern; messaged of gods of old, and the many paths of experience, back in a parking lot in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I was unknowingly one of them, in a distant life, not so removed from so many ' normal ' people today, at any given moment, walking down any given street in any town or city in our nation at any moment in my life. The choice of pathways is always ours, and if seemingly not, the choice to make the best of it, is also ours. More later...

INDIFFERENCE AS LAW

THAT WHICH RULE, GREY AND BLACK -APD CENSURED THIS POST TO PROMOTE CHILD RAPE-THANK GOD FOR THE PATRIOTS ACT

I will undoubtedly die one day at the hands of those who have no heart, yet by those who profess to. I have written already of the landlord who ate a good chunk of money, not to mention whoever was in his truck a few years back, in order not to proceed to district court in Albq. NM. and of the land he and his Army buddies and drug dealers stole with APD's blessings.

I have also already pointed out the constant interference with both my blogs as a result of those very people who wish to promote their preference for children by way of my ' enablement ' of their behaviour as ' wrong.' Of course, this I can only wonder of the ' truest heights ' of complacency by arrangement in order to direct , I'm sorry, to allow my ' buttons,' to be pushed.

Never in my life have I ever imagined the degree to which ' old greys ' will push the young for all unseen pleasures of the darkest of ages as ' normal common ground ' for Birthing Rights of norms and standards, that were once deemed offencive.

Today, I have learned that once again, I will not be a Bell Ringer in order to ask for money for the needy in behalf of The Salvation Army; a good rendition might of been had by one and all of ' ' White Christmas ' or ' Here comes Santa Claus.' Now, the good people of Austin have been spared my ring-a-dinging. My time in Austin will be short it seems. I've gotten a good look at the homeless, nothings really changed much on the streets, drug dealers, broken ' ladies ' and cold shivering children, all trying to fit the Regulatory Golden Path, without sucking a dick to do so. Thanks be to Grace.

I find it amazing, nothings really changed, the same old people, some really bright, some mentally handicapped or physically, pushy sadistic cops and their brothers and sisters of the illegal drug trade, the regulated.

I saw a young girl today, she was black, holding in her arms as cradle, her child; a newborn. Both with running noses; Espirito, Grace of all bonds...of all threads, held in light.


The Salvation Army, Thank God they took them in...it's too bad the politicians downtown and the Capital way, find it ever increasingly difficult to get off there fat asses and find money and make programs ' Real ' for all that seek of need, and exercise EXTREME DETERMINATION and erase the cities drug problem if it doesn't cut too deeply in ' your profit margins.' This isn't Albq., NM. after all, or is it? Ask their City Hall how 11-12 young ladies ended up in graves at the cities bequest? Up to the challenge Austin, or do you let people rot in graves too? Work would be nice, at least enough to leave.

Mayor Buttross, why can't The Salvation Army have a few more Bell Ringers, I promise I won't apply for the job anymore or show interest...or we homeless can always look up the addresses of our legislators and visit them for the Holidays!!! Home cooking, yum, yum, in Cancun!!!

ARGUMENT FOR HUMANITY, THUS GOD ( UNDER CONSTRUCTION )

" What neurofeedback begins with," John told me, " is valid neurobiological measurement. How it's used is a function of the individual practitioner. Some of it, frankly, is pretty questionable-and some of it is extremely interesting."

John warned me away from untrained therapists who simply bought a neurofeedback kit and taught themselves to use it ; he suggested that practitioners should be judged by their qualifications and credentials. Then he cited a number of studies showing how neurofeedback therapy can relieve the need for medication in children with ADD, help stroke victims regain mental functions, and treat moderate depression, alcholism, and sleep disorders.

" I think twenty years from now," he said, " it'll be a widely used branch of medicine."- page 194, second column, paragraph two. Gentlemen's Quarterly, October 2008, ' Train Your Brain,' by Kevin Conley, in the Self Improvement Column.

IV. POSTHUMAN CINEMA

" The New Realness has found popular expression not only in so-called torture porn but also in the revival of the zombie film. The problematic distinction between dead and undead can, among other things, allegorize the ambiguous relation between analog and digital imagemaking."- page 218, Art Forum, December 2009, 21st Century Cinema: Death and Resurrection in the Desert of the ( New ) Real, by J. Hoberman.

POSTHUMAN DELIMA

The actual fact of a person's blood being pumped through the body, relieves all misconceptions of all misunderstandings of whether that individual is alive or not, body not withstanding; in actual fact the body and brain are doing well.

The reality of ' what is real ' is an understanding of dominance over ' states of mind ' given to the populace in forms of choice; often their ( populances ) control. The ambiguous nature of ' blood,' a new realization, or rather ' state of mind,' that only has an emerging ' mass identity,' as ' One,' but is rather, billions of eyes connected to brains and no clear ' identity ' of generation, other than ' mass,' all by design; weight.

What distinguishing ' attachments ' might a generation raise with little regard for anything other than ' techno toys ' in a New World ' othered ' from celebrities, now only digitalized in aftermarkets of ' proper ' measurements of chins, pined back ears and a nose hear and there, all pieced together to create a ' single ' beauty, a near living object, in beat with ' humanities ' rhythm of perception.

What has been taught as the value of our soul, as kids, when we were children, depends largely on who you are when you are born, and to whom you are born of, in this world. The lessons of imprint and histories as knowledge given ' impact ' of one's leaving the thread of life in final moments to younger minds in need of adaptive ' measure ' ( knowledge ) in order to survive as a ' human being,' can now, be questioned fully, in that which is left behind in various virtual realities, if others do not not have the key; a concern to succeed.

BEAUTY DETERMINED AS SURVIVAL MECHANISM

I have always known that I was an artist. I was told by my mother and father that I was born an artist; the Artist, as the description of ' terms ,' should always be capitalized.

My mother told me once that my father was afraid of me because of my talent. I think now, at the age of fifty, although mentally, I feel that I picked up from about the age of eighteen, or there abouts, of a ' time ' that I used to be. I've retained the value of asking questions and in doing so, rediscovered the questioning nature of ' my mind,' that which is of beauty. What is beauty? At what age is beauty determined to be a survival mechanism and for the benefit of who's biological or social organism concerning the individual ( ities )as to and of others; if taught, not breed?

The elemental concern as meme in ' determined ' volume, a ' value ' of soul as worth, when elements are observed and which, depending on degrees of use and applications that are to be used. The building blocks of societies and future economies to ' hold value ' in futures to be made 'real ' in mathematical expressions yet to be held in ' theories ' of expansion; of concern to a new ' individualism ' living or not. But, we do not question, what is beauty? What is the ancestral ' value ' of beauty when seen in younger eyes, or bared of this sight in youth, this observation in expression on ' any ' level of the biological, hence, the ' New Order;' a reality beyond the printed word, the book or the printing press, a ' real ' comprised of elements in ongoing psycho-bio-circuitry's in rehearsals comprised in a loose electromagnetic weave; of all fantasies shared in our species of history, and now, a new ' cleanliness ' approached in robotic virtual realities never in touch with ' a human heart.'